Hit Me Baby One More Time

Backstreet boys, Spice Girls, Britney Spears….there are plenty of things about the 90s to be embarrassed about, but here at Sports Illiteracy we consider the 90s to be a special kind of hell. Mainly, football fan hell. The 90s as a decade held 10 years of both Seahawk and Ram mediocrity. The only fond memory that can be found within Sports Illiteracy is that it was possible to cheer for the opposing team since the Rams and Seahawks were not only in different divisions, but different conferences as well.

Why do we bring up the 90s? Because we are re-living the 90s as sports fans. Aside from new Uniforms and a flashy new conference, the Seahawks and Rams have reverted back to their 90s form; not a good thing.

For my part, as a Rams fan, I am seeing an eerily similar team take the field. On top of that, the media recognizes how horrible the Rams are and continually I hear them described as “worst team in the league” or “joke team” and my personal favorite “morale booster for the other team.” While this is disheartening, it gives me time to analyze the similarities and potentially come up with a formula to warn myself of the next cycle of terrible.

In the 90s, the ownership of the Rams was in a transition and eventually that transition lead to their move to St. Louis. I can’t help but wonder if perhaps the current state may lead to another move. Or, in a worst case scenario, Rush Limbaugh will become a part owner. That last part is not a joke Limbaugh has actually tossed his hat in the ring to be an NFL Owner. I have a bad feeling about this.
The 90s version of the Rams consistently had a decent running back with no line or any other offense to support him. Yea verily the Rams of today have Steven Jackson and the rest of the team struggles to contribute. Gone are the likes of Torry Holt and Isaac Bruce, two players that despite their age, still catch the ball when it hits their hands. Also gone is the shunned but honored Quarterback Kurt Warner, playing now for a team within the division. Twice last year the Arizona Kurt Warners beat the Rams in retribution. What’s that? Their real name is the Cardinals? The announcers fooled me yet again as they fool me every week into believing that Minnesota’s new mascot name is “Favre.”

The nail in the coffin that makes this team a continuation of the 90s tradition is the overpaid quarterback that does not earn his pay. Although Bulger was an excellent backup, his ability to throw the ball away from his receivers is unmatched. Bulger does own an impressive “come from behind” record. However, it is important to note that teams in the NFL that have a lead generally play prevent Defense. Congratulations Bulger, you can pass against the Prevent, something every NFL quarterback, through 3rd string should be able to do.

There is more in this remake of the 90s season, we’ve yet to hear the Seahawk side, Josh will enlighten you to their plight in part 2 so stay tuned.


-Nate